Happiness is a Decision
Mary Carolyn Pugmire Stoy is someone who has had a major impact on my life. She is an 87-year-old woman who is the mother of my mom’s high school best friend. She has not had the easiest life-her husband died when their oldest child was eight and their youngest child was 4 months old. She raised her family as a single mother. When the days seemed to weigh her down Mary Carolyn formed her life philosophy. Happiness is a Decision. She decided that there is so much to happy about in life and it would be up to her to how she reacts to life. Choices like that are what have made her the wonderful woman that she is today. She believes that there is a song to guide every day. When she wakes up she believes that God has put a song in her head specific for that day. If she wakes up and there is no song in her head she will stay in bed until she has one and sometimes she makes up her own song. One day last year she made up a song about arugula. She was 86 years old and she had never eaten arugula so she went to the store and asked the grocer how to cook it. She lives every moment with happiness and regardless of her many health issues she doesn’t think twice about getting on a plane to see her new great-grandbabies.
I spent a several months in Nepal, the country located between India and China. The clear majority of the country is either Hindu or Buddhist. I spent a lot of time talking with men and women about their beliefs and learning about their religions. I have gained a Holy envy toward the Buddhist thought and meditation. Recently I bought a book called You Are Here by Thich Nhat Han. It goes into depth about walking mindfully and being happy where you are. Two of the principles of meditation are stopping and deep-looking. By stopping we are able to be in the present moment and be at peace in the moment. “When you achieve stopping you become solid and concentrated. That allows you to practice looking deeply into what’s here, and looking deeply into the nature of things brings insight. This understanding will liberate you from suffering.” Han teaches that we should walk through life as a practitioner of stopping and deep looking. We should approach all of life’s activities such as washing the dishes in a way that stopping is possible.
Han explains that there are two dimensions; the Historical dimensions and the Ultimate dimension. He explains this concept through an analogy. Imagine yourself looking out onto the ocean. In the ocean, there are these things called waves. They crest and they fall; they are born and they die. When we look at a wave we know that it is a wave, but it is also made from water. While it is a wave it is water at the same time. He explains that the wave is the historical dimension and the ideas of birth and death only apply to that the water is the Ultimate Dimension. Ideas such as birth and death only apply to the wave or the Historical Dimension. The Ultimate dimension is also known as Nirvana in Buddhist tradition but Christians call it God. “You know very well that the wave does not need to die in order to become water. It is water in the here and now. You think you are subject to [life], but if you touch your nature deeply, you will see that it is the nature of [happiness].”
Emily Gardner 